I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
