I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
