I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
