dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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