Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
