Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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