Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
