..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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