Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
