Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
