Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
