you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
