I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
40s are totally the cure
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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