oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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