Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
