I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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