One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
