someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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