Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
