do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
