So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
