she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
