I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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