My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
