Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
