i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Randomize
