they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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