I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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