Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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