If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
