Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize