HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
