we're blogging at a bar
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
