Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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