There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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