I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
