im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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