3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
