who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
