so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
