we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize