I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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