Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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