just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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