Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
