i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
