my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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