And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
