So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
