still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
