i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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