So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
