Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
