I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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