If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
