you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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