i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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