We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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