I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize