I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
