Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
