Moan for me like Helen Keller
I think I am morally bankrupt
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
