rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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